whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
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