just come out here and I will go home with you...
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
