remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Randomize
