More tranny stories later!
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize