My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
whose parrot is this?
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
