forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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