Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
