I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Randomize
