I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
