I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Blood and glitter go together right?
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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