Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
