K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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