Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
