I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
