so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Randomize
