I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
