I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
