But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
