considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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