hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
