Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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