well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
