OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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