Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
