So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
