But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
