i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
