thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
