just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
