You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
