I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
oh god the rape fog is back!
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
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