My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
