I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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