Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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