even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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