I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Randomize
