of course. lets lasso hookers.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
