they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Randomize
