i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
