the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
