I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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