I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
