There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
