There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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