i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
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