did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
