That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
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