I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
