i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
