Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Randomize
