I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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